Vicki’s mother, who had passed away a few years earlier, came to visit her in her dream. In the dream her mother was communicating to her about God. “I asked her what God was like, and if he was a good God,” she said. “She answered me saying that God is supreme and that we must always remember that.” Vicki was anxious to know if this was an actual communication she had with her mother. The dream had touched her, and she was asking for assistance in understanding it.
Many people, like Vicki, dream of deceased friends or relatives and desire to know the meaning of these dreams. To begin understanding them, it is important to know that there are two rules to dream interpretation. The first is that all dreams are about you the dreamer. Secondly, every person in a dream represents an aspect, or quality of yourself. Dreams come from your subconscious mind. This is the part of your mind that is active during sleep. Your subconscious mind communicates to you your present state of awareness through dream images. It is not going to tell you about your best friend, but it may use him as a symbol in your dream to communicate to you about how you are like your friend. For example, if you consciously think of your friend as generous, then in your dream he represents the generous side of you.
Most of the time when people dream of someone who is deceased, that person in the dream is going to represent an aspect of the dreamer as in all other dreams. There are, however, exceptions to this. There are instances when a deceased person will make contact with you in your dreams. This is usually to let you know they are all right. It most often occurs soon after their death, but can sometimes occur years later.
So how do you know if a deceased person in your dream is a symbol or if this dream is an actual communication you are having? When an individual is no longer in a physical body, they exist as a mind, and therefore communicate mentally. They will not open their mouth to speak to you. There will be a very clear line of mental communication.
Another thing to look for is whether or not there is any other activity occurring in the dream. If you are talking to your friend in a car, or while bowling, this dream has symbolic meaning only. When a disincarned friend comes to you in your dream, there is only mental communication, and no props. If there are other things going on in the dream, these are images your subconscious mind is sending you as a way of communicating to you your present state of awareness.
For example, John’s brother Simon died in a car crash many years ago. Recently John had the following dream:
I was eating dinner in a restaurant with my girlfriend and I was surprised to see that Simon was our waiter. He was very gracious and suggested the fish, as it was the specialty of the house.
In this dream, John’s girlfriend symbolizes an aspect of his inner Self, subconscious mind, or soul. Simon symbolizes an aspect of his conscious mind or outer self. John explained that he always viewed Simon as a kind and compassionate person. In his dream, then, Simon represents the kindness that exists within John. Food in a dream symbolizes knowledge. Fish, in particular, is spiritual knowledge. John’s dream is telling him that he is in a process of learning and feeding his soul; using the kindness and compassion that he has will enable him to learn on a deeper or more spiritual level.
Many people are very touched by dreams of disincarned friends or relatives and are curious to know what these dreams mean. Understanding what dreams mean has puts the mind at ease. When a person dies, they still live on through the memories we have and the understandings we’ve gained from moments we’ve shared with them. When we dream about them it confirms that they are alive in us. We have made them a part of us, and this is often reflected in their symbolic presence in our dreams.•
Sandman is a regular feature of Thresholds Quarterly. Write to Sandman, c/o Thresholds, School of Metaphysics National Headquarters, Windyville, MO 65783. When relating a dream indicate your gender and age. For aid in understanding your dreams and gaining the deepest awareness from them refer to The Dreamer’s Dictionary published by SOM Publishing. ©1995 Vol. 13 No. 3