"We see that although this one will initiate, it is not easy for him, and we see that once this one has initiated something, or the environment has initiated something, this one can move at a very rapid speed of creation. It is in the beginning and the ending that this one has the greatest difficulty, and therefore there are many starts and stops in this one’s creative processes. Therefore, the mastery of movement, the understanding of how to perpetuate movement, is very important to this one."

From the outside, I probably look like I have mastered the art of creating--that whatever venue or medium I try to create within, I’m successful. Over my relatively short 33-year lifetime, I have learned drawing, photography, writing, acting, computers, many musical instruments, cooking, all kinds of sports, financial management, foreign language, physics, biology, chemistry, landscaping, and building construction and renovation. I have raised and released wild animals, and I have operated my own recording studio. I saved enough for three European trips, got married, and earned an MBA. To most people it looks like I have no trouble creating, but a little closer look reveals that my pattern was actually one of emotional avoidance and self-sabotage.

In just about every avenue of creating, I would reach the threshold of comfort and natural ability, and then react emotionally to going further -- to the thought of stretching myself and going beyond my comfort zone. My idea of creativity was centered around what came naturally and easily, not around what I could add to myself or become. And so when I reached the limit of my natural ability, I would blame some outside circumstance, switch fields and hide my talents.

The evidence was all over the place: I finished all the courses for a degree in music, but couldn’t bear to give a final recital; I wrote poetry and essays, but packed them in storage boxes; I saved money, but passed up incredible investment opportunities; I bought a fixer-upper house, but was too scared to learn to work with power tools, plumbing and electrical. I got an MBA, and stayed at the same small office job. I eventually got divorced because I could not bear stretching my communication skills and possibly getting in more arguments. Although I was physically successful, I was really stuck in fear and unconscious of what I was doing.

After one final, miserable relationship, I discovered and entered classes in the School of Metaphysics and began a turnaround. I started getting clues as to what my restricted thinking patterns had been, but it wasn’t until I signed up for a Spiritual Initiation Session on creativity that I finally put the pieces together.

Of all the different kinds of intuitive reports available through the School of Metaphysics, the one that has made the most lasting impression on me is the Creative Mind Report. I am a great believer in the usefulness of intuitive reports, which relate truth directly from the subconscious mind, and I have received many different kinds of reports over the last few years. From the expectations I built up before I received it, to the mentoring and application counsel I received immediately afterwards, to how I continue to use the suggestions -- the Creative Mind Report has deepened my awareness most of what it means to be a creator.

The Spiritual Focus Weekend entitled The Genius Code attracted a beautiful mixture of people, among which were a Finnish translator, a former olympic athlete, a draftsman, a teacher, a medical technician, a businesswoman, a Chinese chiropractor and acupuncturist, a high school senior, and others. Before these eleven others and I received our Creative Mind Reports, we had talked as a group about our expectations of the session, of the reports, and of our ideas of what creation and creativity are. The majority of us, myself included, had a fairly limited idea of creativity. Many still clung to the idea of creating as some artistic process that we needed more training in. I was vaguely hoping to find, in the report and the weekend-long session, the keys to unlocking the artistic/creative side of me so that I could build the kind of life I wanted, with the people and things I wanted around me--a very physical intention.

What I found was much more. The report revealed the basis of thinking that I used to create everything in my life, as well as the habitual patterns which held me back from creating what I wanted. This went for people, things, and even states of mind and awareness of myself that I needed to consider as my creations. I found that at the heart of it, I am my own creation.

The setting for these discoveries was ideal. These reports are only given within the structure of a Spiritual Initiation Session, so I could focus all of my attention for the full weekend on discovering and transforming my consciousness. With the wise guidance of our mentor, I was able to receive immediate and further insight into the report, as well as counsel on how to use what I had just discovered. I could concentrate all of my intentions on understanding the process of creation and creativity.

The Report itself consists of two parts. In the first part, the conductor for the intuitive report session asked the subconscious mind, through an intuitive reporter, about the present state of my Creative Mind. This part in effect gave me a total health analysis -- mental, emotional and physical -- of the creative functions of my mind, or how I have historically and presently used my mind for creative purposes. The second part gave suggestions to foster the movement of energy through the levels of mind, with the intention of smoothing the transition of thoughtforms from the ethereal into the physical for the cultivation of genius.

My own Creative Mind Report is so valuable because every time I read it or even refer to it in my thinking, I am reminded of the heart and purpose of life, which is to understand the process of creation and become compatible with the Creator. There are some specific suggestions that I refer to again and again, because the learning situations keep coming up for me. I have much more awareness and therefore control of that unproductive pattern of reacting to the movement of my own creations as they are about to manifest -- of reacting to stretching myself beyond my comfort zone. The passage to which I constantly refer is

I saw very quickly what the report had said about reacting to the potential feelings of a creation. In fact, in that very Session I had a chance to witness with new awareness my pattern in action. One exercise in the Session was to assemble and create a collage depicting our identity from stacks of magazines, scissors, glue, and craft materials. While preparing to present my identity collage and realizing I would be sharing some deeper parts of myself, I found that old familiar ?creation fright? feeling rising up. However, this time I was able to consciously choose to shift my attention from fearing the group would ostracize me to the potential learning of the whole situation, and how others might benefit from me speaking. Finally, it was making sense!

I’ve practiced choosing to continue my creations right through my emotions many times since, in many different circumstances, and have revealed even more layers of freedom by approaching my experiences this way.

This report has truly changed the way I think and make choices. After this report mentioned it would be good for me to become a "master of movement", I noticed the mention of this suggestion in subsequent Past Life and Health Analyses as well. Since the Session, I have gone on to teach metaphysics and direct a School of Metaphysics center, reshaped the Annual Fund for the University of Missouri, performed music and acted in public, gotten pictures, poetry and essays published, and even taught plumbing and electrical wiring to others.

I continue to learn to use my emotions more objectively and to discern cause through teaching many people the movement of energy through the mind. I’m even writing a book about my discoveries of energy movement, and as my mastery of “beginnings and endings” unfolds, many more of my understandings become available to me. My gratitude for this Creative Mind Report grows every time I choose my thoughts and exercise my true creative freedom.•

Paul Madar is currently studying metaphysics at COM.

Although Paul didn't mention it in this article, one of the creative endeavors he has been involved in during the past year is the creation of the Universal Hour of Peace recording. This hour-long cassette is an inspiring work of art that is already in the hands of people around the world. Together with Christine Andrews, his work enables us to share our vision of an hour of peace.

The most moving part of the recording is the Universal Peace Covenant read in seven different languages. The vibratory patterns of speech convey the reality of world peace. The impact is at once profound and uplifting. It must be experienced.

Opening with a prayer for peace around the world and closing with a circle of love, the recording can be used for individual meditation or group gatherings. To receive a copy, just write SOM world headquarters. -Ed.